The Truth about Fear

Fear is an emotion and an emotion is energy in motion. When fear strikes, it starts as a frozen/stuck/immobilizing energy that your body experiences as "do something or death is certain". Then, as the fear energy moves, you find yourself running away or fighting for your life. This means that all of your cells are constricting and tightening. While all this is happening, your brain begins to intervene. The brain needs to make sense of what the body is experiencing. The brain will pull through … [Read more...]

Emotional Presence

     We derive the powerful gift of emotional presence, inherently through our own healing process. In other words, it is only through becoming more present with myself and learning to stay on my healing path that I can be present, understanding and compassionate with others. Emotional presence is the feeling of every cell in our body, actively engaged in this moment, right now. It is a sense of being peaceful in the midst of a storm in that your mind is quiet and your body is at ease. From here … [Read more...]

Vulnerability

So many of us grew up with imprints that hinder us from sharing and expressing our feelings in front of our children, allowing them to fully express their feelings, taking responsibility when we are wrong and/or apologizing to our children. As a result, doing any of this creates feelings of fear and a belief that if we do or allow this we will fail our children. In truth, home is the learning foundation for all of our future relationships. If I allow myself to express my feelings in front … [Read more...]

I Matter – Therefore I Am

There is no greater gift to a child than the feeling and experience of “ I Matter.” The love given, time spent, meeting of their needs, or when a parent/guardian provides that special moment loving kindness/tenderness, a child learns that they are worthy of love. It is through our eyes, our expressions and our interactions with our children that teach them who they are in this world. Random Acts of Loving kindness/tenderness: Leave a sweet note in their lunch box, school bag or bathroom … [Read more...]

Back to School Blues

“Mrs. Messina your daughter would get distracted by a fly on the wall.” This was the response my mother received from my elementary school educational team as she engaged them for answers. Back then, if the “ADD” diagnosis existed without the hyperactivity component, I am sure I would have been referred for medication. In reviewing my elementary school report cards, year after year; there were comments that said, Helene needs to put more effort and pride into her work, Helene needs to stay on … [Read more...]

Take Care With Labels

The English language is full of adjectives that we use to describe how we feel and what we think about the world around us. These words often label what is good and bad, beautiful and ugly, easy and difficult, or success and failure. Where our children are concerned we need to be weary of these and other labels. -In their minds, as we name things as beautiful then its opposite must be ugly. Create the space for them to decide how an experience resonated with them. They will gain a stronger … [Read more...]

The Oxytocin Connection

From infancy when a parent feeds their child, touches them, soothes them, smiles, sings songs, etc. the child’s brain will learn to produce a hormone known as oxytocin. This Oxytocin release is then responsible for the bond and attachment that the parent and child share. However, if the parent is depressed, the parent and child suffer significant traumas, such as medical issues, divorce, major accidents, abuse, neglect, foster care and adoption and more, the oxytocin production is impeded. … [Read more...]

Love Your Neighbor As Thyself

While I don’t remember the source, I had heard the biblical wisdom “love thy neighbor as thyself” explained in a way that resonated with what I have heard so many times. We cannot give to others what we have not been given ourselves. Loving another begins with learning to love “YOU” first. Parents’ who are working diligently to shift their paradigm, from the traditional parenting imprints of the generation before to a love based parenting paradigm, will often find themselves drained and … [Read more...]

BUILD NEW IMPRINTS!

We, just as the generation before us, have conditioned our children to know the difference between good or bad and right or wrong. These concepts are reinforced many times a day in our homes and within the community. We learn, “If I behave correctly and you are happy or proud of me, then I am good. When I displease you and I am scolded, corrected or punished, I am bad.” In truth, what we learn is how to please other people and that who we are is determined by how others see us. Notice this … [Read more...]

Be Where They Are

Something triggers the fear response in your child’s amygdala. Suddenly, your child is no longer acting their chronological age and is acting much younger. Take a deep breath and meet them there. What do they need? A bottle, for you to sit on the floor and play, help getting dressed, to sit on your lap? Whatever it is, can you meet them there without judgment and fear?  If so, this will be an authentic moment in time where your love for your child will shine through and they will learn I am … [Read more...]

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